♥ HER™ Perfect Escapade ♥

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on God's lap.
He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.
I so wanted to be your little girl.
I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place.
I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you.
Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much.
One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened.
A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.
I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to God and set me on His lap.
He said He loved me, and He was my Father.
Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me.
He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live.
I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me.
It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.

Please be careful.

♥Love, Your Baby Girl

a letter from an aborted baby to her mother. it moved her to tears, when she received it through an email a few years back. and till today, she still keeps it. it pains to get aborted. give the dear baby a chance to live. why not treat it as a "redemption" for their mistake, by loving and caring for the child. everyone has a right to live. don't be a murderer by taking away its right.




	Monday, August 6, 2007 there are times when you feel the great darkness casting its shadow on you, leaving you an unclear pretence you have to put up with. that everyday you wake up with the hope on something newer than yesterday, just to realise, there will be no difference to it all. then comes the invasion of coldness, which draws out every inch of sunshine in your heart. leaving you with no choice but to wilt out from this battle of emotions. this battle which sees no end. this battle which is never satisfied to any extent of pain you face. it smiles when it sees you hurt. laughs when you roll on the floor, suffering. when you finally admit defeat, it stands with great pride, boasting its dominance over your true heart, which was once warm with love and care. making you care less about having feelings at all. caring lesser about chancing upon the light of your life. then you would decide to live with the frozen heart rather than trying to warm it all up. giving up even before trying. this is when you had your heart broken in countless mishappenings.♥ her exact sentiments. edah shared at 1:01 PM Saturday, August 4, 2007 she is confused. should she take to heart what the former said? or what the latter testified against? it all seems unclear. who is telling the real truth? and who has mistaken her words? or have the tale been manipulated to live a different storyline? or it was just a fake myth right from the start? there are some things that the more they are told, the more confused one would get. then where could the solution surface? why are people being judgemental without even listening to the full story? when all this merciful creature is asking for is a listening ear, a place for clarification, the spot for her to spill out her heart's content. yet there goes another and another name strike out, from her list of confidante-to-be(s). will anyone listen her out while she shares? or will they be the exact duplicate of all that she has faced before? let time be the decider. and fate shall finalise it all. the trust is misleading.™ .amasreb amatrep dosipe alumreb nup hadus nakgnades?alumreb atik atnic hasik naka hakalib her exact sentiments. edah shared at 10:08 PM Wednesday, July 18, 2007 she thought that communication is as simple as basic English. yet, some things made her opinions seem all wrong. like how you need so many " tools " just to bring to face a certain topic. and how even repeating the word " found " during a presentation is so essential you might as well just say that 5 alphabet crucial thing and stand there without mentioning anything else. and magic as it is, get every damn marks allocated for the mini-show. would you just look at that? oh she would definitely do such a great job you know. even better with the help of an automated playback voice recorder. perfect yeah? why are things being taken in so complicatingly when it could be as minor as 1, 2, 3? when would people view problems as opportunities instead of bothersome issues? and how do you put a stop to those who forces questions out of people? she so thought questions were self-initiated. but no, she's wrong again? HEH. so maybe this is afterall how " excellent communicators " train themselves. so fake. so plastic. and she is so damn glad it'll be the last time she's going to have to bear with his face. the pleasure of the day (: so short.™ Labels: heartpain, nonsensical her exact sentiments. edah shared at 1:02 PM Tuesday, July 17, 2007 Dear Mommy, I am in Heaven now, sitting on God's lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore. Then the monster started ripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to God and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster. I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die. Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster. Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did. Please be careful. ♥Love, Your Baby Girl a letter from an aborted baby to her mother. it moved her to tears, when she received it through an email a few years back. and till today, she still keeps it. it pains to get aborted. give the dear baby a chance to live. why not treat it as a "redemption" for their mistake, by loving and caring for the child. everyone has a right to live. don't be a murderer by taking away its right. STOP ABORTION, IT HURTS! her exact sentiments. edah shared at 7:59 PM Tuesday, June 19, 2007 # Is it cute when a guy kiss you on your forehead? oh gosh yes espescially when he got a miss :) # A big poofy dress or a short party dress? =) short PARTEY dress # What would you do if you received a long love letter? well, she'll read it, laugh, pass it back to him and smile (: # Group dates or single dates? anything would do, thank you # Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends? she just don't hate, is that a pity? # Are diamonds a girl's best friend? i like i like ! # Is your hair up or down? oh down down down # Do you straighten your hair? never did, never will, never would # Do you like to get tan? when she feels pale enough HAHA # Whats your favorite girly magazine(s)? umm Her World ? muahaha # What's your Favorite mascara? mascara's not in her list # Do you get your nails done? LOL that fortnighly nail trim or ? # Small or large bags? oh small's cute and big's helpful :) # In your bag, what must you have inside? her Darling Nok !!! # Jeans or skirts? denim skirts, WAHAHA # Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelrythat's uncomfortable? to hell with them even if its the best looking thing in the world # Do you text message alot? its like her oxygen :) # Do you believe in love at first sight? awww =) there are sweet memories of it so yes # Hook-ups or relationships? relationship yeah # Whats your favorite color(s)? blue and all others that are called colours # Heels or Flats? she's good with both # Did you ever cry during a romantic movie? romantic movies ??? not in HER box office :) # Would you ever leave the house without make-up on? haha (: her everyday thing # Do you wear collared shirts? ahuh depends # On a scale of 1-10 how fun is shopping? 10 when she's in the mood #Are you spoiled? spoiled for choices ? oh yes sure :) #Do you think lipgloss is the best? she bothers no more # Do you own any big sunglasses? oh yes # Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show? she can miss a month and still catch up, so there's no need to freak # How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1/2hour - 1 1/2hours hehe # Do you like to wear bandaids? whats that for ? # Do you like skater boys? she likes their skates :) # Do you often wish there was something you could change from your past? oh no never, why should she ? its her history (: # Gold or silver? silver # Do you like to wear dresses? for proms, swings, oh yeah ! # On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you? emm 2 ? she grows up with males HELLO # Do you wear lipstick? shakes head innocently # Would you date a guy shorter than you? been there, done that # Do you like to hold hands? with too many Darling people to name =) # Do you like glitter? on her face or what ? haha # What is the first thing you notice in a boy? (: eyes # Do you like to make eye contact? varies according to the people referred to # Tropical drinks, or Starbucks? they are equally wonderful aren't they? # Do you ever picture your wedding dress and wedding? is it time yet? hmm on second thoughts :) turquoise silk sweeping strapless ballgown dress by the Bahamas beach, near sunset, candlelit pathways, elegant curtained seatings, alot more uh ! # Who shall be next to do this time-filler? anyone who wishes to :) her* exact sentiments. edah shared at 11:12 PM Monday, June 11, 2007 there are some things in life that one can never be able to avoid. that no matter how insistently we try to keep it away, at the end of the day, we will still have to face it. separation. the eternal separation. which creates a border between the living and the dead. the momentary separation. where time is dependent to bring them back together. most of us should have experienced at least one of either. but there are a number who have been blessed to be spared from it. though she shall not disown that having to undergo separation is also a blessing. a blessing which teaches us to be more appreciative of life. to show love to our loved ones before we miss the chance to do so. death teaches us too many things to name. undeniably it teaches us that life is indeed that short, so treasure what we have and don't take things for granted. she herself have endured countless separations in her mere 17 years of life. watched many souls taken back, leaving their footprints in the hearts of those who are still alive. each and every one of them still vivid in her mind. she had learnt that carrying on with life after a funeral is not as hard as it first seems. neither is it as easy as the teardrops that wet her cheeks when she saw the motionless figure who was once full of strength. but forgetting the little details of these people are much more tedious and heart-breaking. although quite some time may have passed, she is still easily reminded of the beloved people who passed away when she is triggered. so what triggers her memories? things that can be so simple and even an everyday thing. for instance a can of Coca Cola. or just that similar Mercedez Benz car. and could be that common spot right down that street where she used to meet her late aunt. it all stays right deep in her thoughts, only let out when peeled. every visit to the cemetry rakes up so many things of the past. that brings tears to the eyes. even the most ignorant fellow, is moved. what more someone who is a feeler, one who is sensitive to emotions. they are sure to leave with a heavy heart. and so for her short post, she holds her head down, and prays for peace for those who have left this world before her.. *her heartfelt wishes.™* her exact sentiments. edah shared at 8:26 PM Sunday, May 27, 2007 as she sat waiting, waiting for her ordered food to be prepared. the coffeshop turns into her wide screen television. even though it is a known fact that there are many different kinds of people with dozens diverging characteristics, she is never bored with this pastime cum hobby, people-watching. this time, food stall vendors are the main cast. some vendors, despite during the hustle and bustle of peak meal hours, espescially on a Sunday like this, still maintain their bright smiles and courtesies. but others, may tend to loose their temper even when it is not packed with customers. and so she wonders, what is going through these minds that make them the way they are. in particular, a middle-aged female vendor that seems so stressed up that a slight request from a vendee is enough to make her blow her top. mumbling and presenting an irritated expression. the food is unvaried from her temper. being harshly handled and stomped about. seeing this, her mind wanders a little more further. and she creates a miniature story about her newly found character ; in her family, she is the 2nd child and have an older sister, a younger sister and 2 brothers. she is in her early-thirties, but have yet to have found her soul partner. this is however, not that much of a suitor problem. whereas its more of her being tied down to taking care of her aging mother as her other siblings are all married. she feels burdened but knows that her mother depends on her. she had tried a number of jobs before she took up this food stall helper occupation, which she thinks is the most suitable. requests from customers then become an addition to her burdens. she tends to be irritable and shoots a sharp tongue at anyone that asks for more. she vents her personal problems at work as she has no one to let it all out to. for that few seconds she fully concentrated on her character, that was the meagre storyline she scripted in her thoughts. but why did she stop at just that? her eyes that never stopped roving around was attracted to another vendor that might just create a totally opposite role play. he was all smiles, and greeted the vendees with much friendliness and respect. this is surely the type of service everyone would love to receive. sadly, this is not always the case. unfortunately or fortunately, she was left with no choice but to head home, unable to put life to the latter character. on her journey home, it was all a different story, with different casts, starring the people on the streets. it might be the end of her post this wonderful night. but its not anywhere near to the end of her stories, just yet to be told. for she will crave to share more in the soon coming future.. her undivided attention.™ her exact sentiments. edah shared at 7:31 PM		the LADY. ♥ little-Edah™ ♥ July Baby ♥ mere adult her LOVES. ♥ love ♥ peace ♥ Family dear ♥ sweet Cousins ♥ O'Hail the Friends ♥ Music Oh yes ♥ damn it. FOOD ♥ alot MORE. ♥ tons of dozens. ♥ simply Everyhing. her DISLIKES. ~~Hate~~ * ~~hate~~ * ~~HATE~~ * just HATE and nothing else. her WISHES. ♥ ~~loving Family~~ granted. ♥ ~~beautiful life~~ granted. ♥ ~~confidante~~ granted. ♥ ~~great friends~~ granted. ♥ world peace ♥ world love ♥ equality rights, for all ♥ put a stop to paedophiles ♥ ~~Samsung K3 MP3~~ granted. ♥ ~~own Fuji baby~~ granted. ♥ a cute family car, * for mum&dad * ♥ personal Lamborghini :) ♥ Kawasaki to remp :j kindly. talk. archives May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 linkages amirool afiqah hafyza hajar hongwei huishi huixuan jehanne*xin jieying kakfad mazlan millison nurzahidah shakylla melody*wenmin xiaowei yuting 1P02WHOOTS! tag me & i'll link♥ credits Designer Eric Sim Pictures Foto Decadent Brushes and Textures Hybrid Genesis, Misprinted- Type, and Eric Sim Pattern Squidfingers